Last week, I turned another year older. At this point, age is really becoming just a number. Deep in my mind and my heart, I don’t feel like I’ve grown up much. Although I can’t deny the following signs of aging:
- I can’t drink as much as I used to, or my body takes an entire day to recover from a hangover
- I don’t let the little things stress me out
- People with too much energy annoy me
- I prefer staying at home, and I prefer sleeping over any other form of activity
Other than these, I’m basically still the same. I am still immature, I still don’t have any concrete goals in life – at least none that I am adamantly working towards achieving. At this age, I would have expected myself to be more stable, more fulfilled – but I’m very far from that. My mind wanders at night, thinking about what my priorities should be, or what my goals should be. I’m not getting any younger after all. While most of my friends have gone off and pursued their life’s goals, I remain stuck where I was 10 years ago!
I’m taking my time to figure out what I want to do with my life. But I’m more consciously thinking about it this time, as opposed to just really going with the flow. At the top of my head, I know I want to at least become a better version of myself. In the near future, I want to be able to live a life that’s more focused on the important things, the things I really value. I have to get rid of this chronic laziness that has paralyzed me over the past decade. This chapter of my life has been running for ten years already, and I feel that it’s time to start a new one. I don’t know what that means yet, but I have to take some drastic steps to get there.
In terms of this blog, I have decided to make it simpler by eliminating the “categories” I created. The goal was to force myself to write more, but I felt boxed and limited, writing about things I didn’t really feel like talking about. This was the reason why I haven’t been writing for over a month – there was no motivation, just pressure.
I’ll share more things about my plans, my immediate goals, among other things in the next posts. Birthdays signify a new start, and I will make this year better than the past 10 years combined!