Ohayou to you, Oyasumi to me

Ohayou in Japanese means Good Morning, while Oyasumi means Good Night. This is my tagline because my body clock is so messed up that I go to sleep when most people are already getting up from their beds. The word play just fits!

I wish I could do something about my body clock. I don’t want to rely on sleeping pills to get me to sleep – but I’ve tried several things like:

  • Keeping my phone away when I’m about to sleep
  • Turning off all of the lights
  • Diffusing essential oils, paired with spa music to relax my brain
  • Drinking a glass of warm milk
  • Drinking enough alcohol to put me to sleep

These worked for a while, but my body clock just resets itself eventually. This is particularly hard for me because I do work a morning shift. If my company didn’t have flexible time, I don’t know how I would manage.

Looking deeper into this, this could stem from anxiety. I’m not clinically diagnosed, but I know anxiety keeps me up at night. The moment I lie in bed, my brain revs up its engine and conjures up a million thoughts – and they’re not happy ones. I go over my frustrations – career, personal goals, failed relationships and disappointments – and panic and worry about the future.

It’s not a windmill, but a ferris wheel in my mind. Taken at SM MOA.

I have to get out of bed to stop these thoughts from making me go crazy. So I waste my time watching anime, or other people’s lives through YouTube, read a book, or do the laundry (yes, at 3 in the morning).

Maybe I should see a therapist, but I’m scared of opening up to someone. I’m the type to deal with my problems by myself. These aren’t really problems to begin with – but it does keep me up at night and affects my day.  I am hoping that doing this daily blog will help me out somehow. Having a venue to pour my thoughts into can take some of the load off my brain for a night. If this still doesn’t work, then I’ll seek professional help.

Until then, it’s Ohayou to You, and Oyasumi to Me! Time check – 3:33 AM.

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